Kou Kou's » old folks

Old Farmer’s Advice

Kou Kou — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:37:07 +0000

Nuggets of wisdom – Old Farmer’s Advice:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.

Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don ‘t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he’ll just kill you.

Waiting Room

Kou Kou — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:43:11 +0000

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor’s office
why you are there and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong –
and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who
insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other
patients. I know most of us have experienced this and I love the way this
old guy handled it:

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and
approached the desk.

The receptionist said, “Yes, sir, what are you seeing the
doctor for today?”

He replied, “There’s something wrong with my dick.”

The receptionist became irritated and said,

“You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say
things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you.”

The receptionist replied, “Now you’ve caused some
embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is
something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with
the doctor in private.”

“You shouldn’t ask people questions in a room full of
strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone,” the man said. Then he
walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering.

The receptionist smiled smugly and said, “Yes?”

“There’s something wrong with my ear.”

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he
had taken

her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, sir?”

“I can’t piss out of it.”

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose!

Hot Nipples

Kou Kou — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:30:15 +0000

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they
decided to revisit the same island resort at which they’d spent their honeymoon.

At breakfast one morning the couple was sitting nude by the opened
bay window when the still lovely, yet aged bride asserted herself, “Well
honey, here we are in the same place we were on our wedding night and
I can’t believe that my nipples are just as HOT for you now as they
were then…”.

The grumpy groom responded, “Hell, I guess so – you’ve got one in the
coffee and one in the damned oatmeal!”