Layoffs are Hard

There was a manager who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at
least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees,
Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their
reactions help guide his decision.
So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he
didn’t want to lose his job, but he understood the boss’s situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, ‘Mary, I’ve got a problem; By the end of
the day, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off…’

And Mary says, ‘Then you’re gonna have to jack off.  I’ve got a headache!’