Posts Tagged ‘food’
Thibodeaux on a Diet
Thibodeaux was fat like hell, so his doctor put him on a diet.
Doc: ‘I want you to eat regular for 2 days, then skip a day, and do that over and over for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lose at least 5 pound.’
When Thibodeaux come back, he shocked the doctor cause he lost over 50 lbs!
‘Damn, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’
Thibodeaux nodded…’I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop flat dead on dat 3rd day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
Thibodeaux: ‘Heck no, it wuz from from all dat damn skippin!!!
Matzoh Balls
A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors over for holiday dinner.
The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, “This is matzoh ball soup.”
On seeing the two large matzoh balls floating in the broth, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man. “Try it; if you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it.”
Finally he agreed. He dug his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in his spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual “Mmmmmmmmm” sound could be heard coming from deep within his chest, and he quickly finished the whole bowl.
“That was awesome!” the man said. “Can you eat any other parts of a matzoh?”
Daily Special
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in
Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking
platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell
was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’
The waiter replied, ‘Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called
Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A
delicacy!’
The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me some.’
The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day
because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and
place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening
was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites,
inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, ‘These are
delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday.’
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, ‘Si Senor, Sometimes the bull
wins.’