Posts Tagged ‘doctor’
Thibodeaux on a Diet
Thibodeaux was fat like hell, so his doctor put him on a diet.
Doc: ‘I want you to eat regular for 2 days, then skip a day, and do that over and over for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lose at least 5 pound.’
When Thibodeaux come back, he shocked the doctor cause he lost over 50 lbs!
‘Damn, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’
Thibodeaux nodded…’I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop flat dead on dat 3rd day.’
‘From the hunger, you mean?’ asked the doctor.
Thibodeaux: ‘Heck no, it wuz from from all dat damn skippin!!!
Ed Zachary Disease
A woman was distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any
sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong
with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known
Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all
your crose.” The woman did as she was told.
“Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.”
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me…” As
she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly.
“Your probrem velly bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I
ever see! Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
The woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary
Disease?”
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied: “Ed Zachary Disease is when your
face look Ed Zachary like your butt.”
Waiting Room
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor’s office
why you are there and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong –
and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who
insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other
patients. I know most of us have experienced this and I love the way this
old guy handled it:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and
approached the desk.
The receptionist said, “Yes, sir, what are you seeing the
doctor for today?”
He replied, “There’s something wrong with my dick.”
The receptionist became irritated and said,
“You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say
things like that.”
“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you.”
The receptionist replied, “Now you’ve caused some
embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is
something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with
the doctor in private.”
“You shouldn’t ask people questions in a room full of
strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone,” the man said. Then he
walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering.
The receptionist smiled smugly and said, “Yes?”
“There’s something wrong with my ear.”
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he
had taken
her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, sir?”
“I can’t piss out of it.”
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose!
Climate Change
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination
the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the
doctor then said to the elderly man: You appear to be in good health. Do you
have any medical concerns that you would like discuss with me?
In fact, I do, said the man. After I have sex with my wife for the
first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my
wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.
This is very interesting, replied the doctor. Let me do some research
and get back to you.
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: Everything appears
to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to
discuss with me?
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims
that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you
and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?
Oh that old buzzard! She replied.
That’s because the first time is usually in December and the second
time is usually in June!