Posts Tagged ‘airline humor’
The Passport
An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his
Passport in his carry-on bag.
You have been to France before, Monsieur?’ the customs officer asked,
sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. ‘Then
you should know enough to have your passport ready.’
The elderly gentleman said,
‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.’
‘Impossible’ said the customs officer.
‘The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!’
The Man gave the Frenchman a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained.
‘Well, when I came ashore on the Beach on D-Day in 1944,
I couldn’t find any f***ing Frenchmen to show it to!!!
Spare the Rod
In a crowded airliner a five-year-old boy is throwing a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly minister slowly walks up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the minister leans down and whispers something into the boy’s ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the minister slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the stewardesses takes him by the sleeve. “Excuse me, Reverend,” she says quietly, “but what magic words did you use on that little boy?”
The old man smiles serenely and gently says, “I told him if he didn’t cut
that shit out, I’d kick his ass off the plane.”
AMEN