Treat yourself to some authentic and hilarious home grown Cajun humor. Thanks Murray!

He meets with the Pope: “Holy Father, my company would like to make a substantial donation to the Holy Mother Church – but there’s only one condition….”

“Yes, my son?”

“We’d like you to authorize changing the Lord’s Prayer from “Give us this day our daily bread to give us this day, our daily chicken.”

“I don’t know my Son. Tradition and all, you know.”

“Well your Holiness, we are prepared to give you a Million dollars to do this.”

“I don’t know my Son. Tradition and all, you know.”

So, the chicken man, hurries off for a quick phone call to his boss and he comes back.

“Your Worship, I am authorized to go up to one Billion dollars if you change “Give us this day our daily bread, to give us this day our daily chicken.”

The Pope shrugs with a smile and says, “Well, now, my Son, give me a call tomorrow.”

Later that day the Pope has a big meeting with his Cardinals, Bishops, Priests the whole Vatican family is there.

He says to them, “Boys, I gotta some a good news, and I gotta some a bad news….”

“The good news is that the Holy Mother Church has come into one Billion dollars!!”

(CHEERING! APPLAUSE! BRAVO! BRAVO!!!)

“Boys, the bad news is that we have lost the Wonderbread account!”

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly as her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Artie said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man. ”

Eugene commented: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives. ”

Al said: “I’d like them to say, “Look, he’s moving!”

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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord . . . “God, what does a million years mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “It is but a minute.”

Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “That would be just a penny.”

Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”

The Lord replies, “Yes, in a minute.”

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A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?”

“Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”

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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. “Give me one last request, dear,” he said.

“Of course, John,” his wife said softly.

“Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Bob.”

“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said.

With his last breath John said, “I do!”

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A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”

The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”

The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”

The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?”

The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?”

The man said “Yes”.

The Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking
platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell
was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’

The waiter replied, ‘Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called
Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A
delicacy!’

The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me some.’

The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day
because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and
place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening
was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites,
inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, ‘These are
delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday.’

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, ‘Si Senor, Sometimes the bull
wins.’

Then he called in Mary, and said, ‘Mary, I’ve got a problem; By the end of
the day, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off…’

And Mary says, ‘Then you’re gonna have to jack off.  I’ve got a headache!’

The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, “This is matzoh ball soup.”

On seeing the two large matzoh balls floating in the broth, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man. “Try it; if you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it.”

Finally he agreed. He dug his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in his spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual “Mmmmmmmmm” sound could be heard coming from deep within his chest, and he quickly finished the whole bowl.

“That was awesome!” the man said. “Can you eat any other parts of a matzoh?”

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “OK, take off all
your crose.” The woman did as she was told.

“Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.”
Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me…” As
she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly.

“Your probrem velly bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I
ever see! Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

The woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary
Disease?”

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied: “Ed Zachary Disease is when your
face look Ed Zachary like your butt.”