Kou Kou’s

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly as her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Artie said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man. ”

Eugene commented: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives. ”

Al said: “I’d like them to say, “Look, he’s moving!”

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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord . . . “God, what does a million years mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “It is but a minute.”

Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “That would be just a penny.”

Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”

The Lord replies, “Yes, in a minute.”

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A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?”

“Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”

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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. “Give me one last request, dear,” he said.

“Of course, John,” his wife said softly.

“Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Bob.”

“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said.

With his last breath John said, “I do!”

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A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”

The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”

The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”

The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?”

The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?”

The man said “Yes”.

The Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God, and I know I am . . . . .

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Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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For Sale :

Wedding dress, size 8.
Worn once by mistake.

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There are really only two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman:

Before marriage and after marriage.

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Why were hurricanes usually named after women?

Because when they arrive, they’re wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.

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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

“Look Miss,” said the foreman, “have you any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter if fact, yes!” she replied.

“I’ve been divorced three times. ”

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”

The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

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It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

The reason why . . . . . All the DNA is the same.

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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?”

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.

“Young man, we’re both 90 years old,” the husband said “We may not have 45 minutes.”

They were seated immediately.

T-Boy saw an ad in the paper about a FREE RIVER CRUISE so he went to the travel agency in Lafayette. He told the lady behind the desk why he was there. The woman punched a hidden button, two big fellas came up behind T-Boy, beat him up, took his wallet, and stuff him in a crawfish sack. Then they drug him out back and throwed him into the bayou.

A little bit later Joubert walks in to claim his free cruise. The woman hits that button again and sure enough two big bastards sprung out, beat him up, stuff him in a sack, stole his wallet, and throw him out back into the bayou too.

A couple miles down the bayou the two Cajuns was floating along and bump into one another. T-Boy said to Joubert, “I wonder if dey gonna serve beer on this cruise?”

Joubert replies,”I doubt it. They didn’t serve a damn thing last year.”

Take you time and answer each question.

Did Noah include termites on the ark?
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
How do you dial a pushbutton phone?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
If a brown cow eats green grass why is it’s milk white?
If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would it be considered a hostage situation?

Once again they underestimate us.
This Cajun got some math moves. Go ahead!

Amadee was in his front yard mowing his grass when T-Boy come stormin out of the house and rushed to the mailbox. T-Boy opened it up, looked inside, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house looking all pissed off.

A little bit later Amadee was weed eating and here come T-Boy again to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way around inside. Then he cussed and slammed it closed harder than ever.

Mais Amadee couldn’t take no more he say, “What the hell’s wrong T-Boy?”

T-Boy looked at him all crazy, “Well hell! My new computer keeps telling me, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”

A couple was driving down highway 14 arguing wildly about the man sleeping with another woman.

The wife got so mad she whipped out a knife, chopped the mans pecker off and threw it out the window.

The penis flies through the air, splattering onto the windshield of the car that is following and rolls off.

Little Lena riding with her dad says “What was that Daddy?”  The father says “That was just a bug”.

The daughter looks at him and replies “That bug sure had a big pecker”.

This is just about true and could happen down here. We drink a little sometimes yeah!
On any given day I pass people coming back from the store on their riding lawn mower with a 12 pack sitting on the hood. LOL

I love these jokes done live in clubs. You don’t have to be drunk to enjoy a good Cajun joke (but it sure as hell helps)! – Kou Kou

Three Cajuns got stuck in a mess are all three got sentenced to be executed by a firing squad.

Admee got taken out and they told him to face the wall so he does but just as they’re going to shoot him, he shouts “Tornado!” and the firing squad sll ran for cover.

Then they brung out T-Meche from Erath and he faces the wall but just as they are going to shoot he shouts “Hurricane!” and the firing squad all run away.

Then they bring out Joubert from Evangeline and they tell him to face the wall.  Just when the firing squad is about to shoot, the Joubert shouts, “Fire!”

Mais la